The “America’s Next Top Model” creator envisions instant hair, mono-color and 120-year-old moms
Tyra Banks has come out with a Wall Street Journal op-ed piece giving her take on the future of beauty and here is what she imagined:
Plastic surgery will be as accessible as gum, and we will all be using it to try and appear as differentiated as possible. “Emphasis will be on how unique and interesting one can look, as opposed to a cookie-cutter look,” Banks writes. OK, fine, we will accept this as within the realm of possibility.
But, at the same time, Banks explains, our “skin color and features” will converge into “a similar shade for the majority of people.” And—what do you know!—Banks knows what that coloring will be: It will “lean toward a Rihanna or Beyoncé or me look.” (We dare you to use this latter phrasing casually in conversation today. “I love those shorts on you, Carol, but I feel like they’d really pop on someone with a Rihanna or Beyoncé or me look.”)
No one will ever have to bother with hair extensions again. If you want fuller hair, you’ll just apply a “hair-growing serum” to the scalp, and—bam!—longer tresses in 24 hours. How convenient!
The “popular hair texture” of the future will be curly (no rationale is given for this).
“Curvy bodies” will be the most coveted, because they will signal affluence and access to food. (Oh, yeah, in this Tyra future, global warming has resulted in a scarcity of natural food.)
There will no longer be any prejudice based on what people look like. You guys, this is major! Have a glass of champagne at your desk; eat a doughnut; celebrate! This is taken verbatim from the piece: “Because beauty will be so readily accessible and skin color and features will be similar, prejudices based on physical features will be nearly eradicated. Prejudice will be socioeconomically based.”
And we’ve saved our favorite for the end:
Women “up to age 120” will be able to have children. This is revealed via a parenthetical! Tyra, talk about burying your lede!!
Everyone will have a personal robot, and your robot will be “free of charge” if you let it suggest products for you paid by sponsors. Also, your robot will know when you’re not feeling great and will “strategically” offer you flattery and compliments. (“Josh, you are looking great today. I am so jealous of your Rihanna or Beyoncé or you look.”)
From Black Health Zone