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Let’s Talk About Postpartum Sex

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Let’s Talk About Postpartum Sex

It may not seem like it at first, but you will get back on that pony

Let’s talk about our needs and ourselves here for a second. Postpartum sex specifically. Am I the only one who was terrified to do it after giving birth? I’ve had a natural, vaginal birth with an episiotomy, so even the thought of anything going in there frightened the heck out of me. Let’s not get into detail of what I thought was going to happen, but it was definitely terrifying.

Fact is, you need to wait at least six to eight weeks after giving birth to have intercourse again. At that point, that was fine with me. Of course, my husband kept trying, but like I said, besides the soreness, I just wasn’t ready. And, ladies, that is the most important part about having sex. Do it when your body and mind feel ready. Don’t let your partner rush you into anything. He will get laid again, but it may take some patience, because it does take time to heal, and let’s be honest, giving birth can be a little traumatic.

Don’t get me wrong; it was the most beautiful thing to finally hold and kiss my daughter, but the dilation process? Physically traumatizing.

Honestly, you probably won’t enjoy the first time after having your baby. I enjoyed the intimacy with my husband, but not the act itself (I hope he doesn’t read this, ha-ha). Being nervous makes your body tense up, which will most likely happen the first three times. Since vaginal birth leaves your v-jay pretty sore, it’s good to have an ice pack ready. I had to kick up my feet and rest after we had our first postpartum intercourse. It didn’t hurt during, but it did afterwards. Just go slow; you guys will get back to whatever regimen you had soon enough. Most of the time you’ll comfortably have sex again after about 12 weeks postpartum. By that time, everything should be almost completely healed.

Taking care of a newborn is extremely tiring—even more so if you’re breastfeeding. But just as I mentioned in a previous article, “Beyond Snapback,,” you need to have some time for your partner and yourself. It’s crucial. Don’t get caught up in the stress to the point where you are unable to enjoy each other. It’s hard when the baby hasn’t gotten into a sleep rhythm yet, but whenever you have a little breathing room, leave the dishes in the sink, lay up in bed and take care of each other. Take care of yourself.

Sex reduces stress, so it’ll most likely help you calm down for a little. Yes, your husband will have to be patient, but so what if he gets a little frustrated. We’re talking about six to eight weeks without any action. I mean, please don’t force yourself if you really don’t want to, because you may feel like everyone wants something from you while all you want is a break. Try to show him you appreciate the efforts he’s making by doing something that makes him happy. Keep it on an equal level. Give and take–always.

Other than that, stay balanced. I know how hard it can get, but keep your cool; you’ve got this!

For more new mommy tips, go to MommyNoire

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Daniel Leblanc/MommyNoire